It's Chicks, Amara, But Not as We Know Them

"Well, Oz, I think we have done a good day's work here," Captain Amara said with a cocky smile. He blew the green smoke from the tetryon gun, shoved it down into its holster, and looked out over the village.

The settlement looked almost like one of those 20th century tourist-trap cowboy towns, with shabby western-style houses and dusty streets. At the end of the long road that ran through the entire insignificant town you could see the silhouette of a desolate matte painted landscape. There were a few people, dressed in old-style clothes, who were scattered around the village, looking a bit confused and lost.

"Indeed captain," Oz answered in a neutral voice. "We have now successfully crushed their ideological structure and religious belief system." He was looking at his captain with a motionless expression and clasped his hands behind his back. "Good thing that you managed to locate and destroy their God-computer."

"Yes," Amara said. "Now we can impose our Confederation values on them without any resistance." He looked out over the surroundings. "Well, we better make sure that everything is in order before we take off and leave the planet in political havoc." He waved at two ensigns in red sweaters who were taking scanner readings at some strange equipment. "Jones and... um... what's your name?"

"Rivers, sir."

"Why don't you two go and check out that fishy cave over there," he pointed to a small opening in a papier-mâché cliff at the farther part of the town. "Make sure that there are no dangerous monsters hiding there, waiting to maim unsuspecting townsfolk.”

The two men suddenly looked very nervous. "Um... could we scan it from the outside?"

"No, dammit!" Amara crossed his arms. "We have to be thorough!"

Rivers swallowed and looked over at Jones. "Well... we better be going then."

As the ensigns went on their way, cautiously raising their tetryon guns, Amara turned to Oz again. "I must say that this mission was much easier than the one on Terrion IV last week."

"Indeed captain," Oz answered. "Those medieval crusade knights were troublesome."

Behind them, a mean-looking crocodile-like alien in some kind of reddish dress devoured the two ensigns before they could raise the alarm.

"Not as much trouble as that stubborn communist civilization on Gamma Zenon II, though. They put up a lot of struggle," Amara continued with a look of distaste. "Clearly an expression of their envy of our freedom and democracy."

"Naturally, captain."

"How's it going, Amara?" a voice asked from behind them. As they turned they noticed that the rest of the away team had returned from their short survey.

"Not bad, Angel. Not bad." Suddenly Amara noticed that it wasn't just the away team that was approaching. Behind his team followed a group of three gorgeous women. They were all dressed in very skimpy gold-colored dresses that bared their abdomens and most of their legs. Their long, blonde hair was arranged in elaborate styles and fell over their shoulders in golden cascades. For some reason they seemed kind of blurry when he looked at them, but he assumed that it had something to do with the planet's atmospheric conditions.

"Well," Amara said in a husky voice. "I see you guys made friends with some natives. Good initiative. You know how much I value..." his smile got wider. "Cultural exchange. Are they humanoids? You know, might be good to know how they are...built," he asked Angel without taking his eyes off the women.

"Dammit, Amara!" Angel muttered, looking a bit grumpy. "I'm a space lawyer, not a gynecologist!"

"Are you the captain?" one of the women said, looking seductively at Amara.

"Well, yes, little lady," he answered, looking at them from under his lashes. "Captain Amara at your service."

"Oh, but isn't that wonderful?" one of the other beauties said in a silk-smooth voice. "We get so lonely on this planet, there are no men among these simple people worthy to keep us company."

"Would you please stay with us for a while?" the third one asked, looking at him with a coy gaze. "We get so unhappy when we don't have anyone to pleasure."

"Well," Amara answered, placing his hands on his hips. "Who am I to deny help to someone in distress?"

He took the hand of the lady in the middle, and brought it to his lips. "Well, Oz," he said, turning to his first officer, "Why don't you and the crew get back to the ship. There are clearly needs among the locals that are yet to be filled. I have full confidence in your command abilities, so I'm sure that you will do just fine without me for a while. You can pick me up on the way to the planetary conference next month."

"But, captain, wouldn't they be happier if we brought them to a more highly civilized planet instead of staying here?" Oz looked skeptical.

"Well, that's not as fun."

Oz raised an eyebrow. "Illogical, captain."

"What's the fun in logic?" Amara grinned before walking away with the giggling women.

Oz looked at Angel and sighed. "Very well, we should be on our way then." Angel shook his head and started gathering their equipment.

As they were all packed and ready to go Angel leaned against the shuttlepod and puffed. He looked out over their small crowd. "Everyone here?"

"Well, I think so," Oz said as he folded up his scanner. "I can't think of anyone who's missing." As they all got into the shuttlepod and took off a piece of red cloth tumbled by in the wind, followed by a distant growl.

The End


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